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Stupid Stinky Gerbil

I am a beautiful and wonderful cat, No other animal compares to me. Everyone in my house knows that. It’s so clear to see. Other animals wish they were me. I am the queen of this kingdom And I vanquish all my foes, The rodents that used to trespass my domain Are all dead and gone, as everyone knows. And now what I say goes. I get all the attention I get all the catnip and treats I get all the pets and scratches I get all the best spots on cozy seats. I get everything, my life’s complete. But one day, while I dream away Laying in a warm sun spot An enemy invades my kingdom. I wake up and see what the humans brought. I am disgusted by what they bought. The humans call it an “adorable gerbil.” But it’s obviously a rodent, can’t you see? Rodents are our sworn enemy. What is this insanity? What have you humans done to me? Now those silly children who used to serve me Try playing Wordle with the stupid gerbil. Those children would be better off Playing Wordle with a silly turtle Not a stupid...
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Why Do You Hate Me?




She stood there with her back against the tree trunk, glaring at me as if I was a mere cockroach. “I hate you.”

“Okay..” I said. “May I ask why?”

“Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“I don’t have to tell you why! It’s too obvious.”

“So, in other words, you hate me for no reason at all?”

“I do have a reason!”

“Then what is it?”

She stared at me like I was insane. “You’re pointing a gun at me!”

I looked at the gun in my hand. “Oh. Right. Forgot about that.”

“What kind of assassin are you?”

“One with a gun, apparently.” I pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. “What the–dang. Forgot to load it.”

My target bolted into the forest, snickering. “You are the worst assassin ever!”

I sighed and put my gun away. “Mom was right, I should’ve become a mortician instead.”

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