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Stupid Stinky Gerbil

I am a beautiful and wonderful cat, No other animal compares to me. Everyone in my house knows that. It’s so clear to see. Other animals wish they were me. I am the queen of this kingdom And I vanquish all my foes, The rodents that used to trespass my domain Are all dead and gone, as everyone knows. And now what I say goes. I get all the attention I get all the catnip and treats I get all the pets and scratches I get all the best spots on cozy seats. I get everything, my life’s complete. But one day, while I dream away Laying in a warm sun spot An enemy invades my kingdom. I wake up and see what the humans brought. I am disgusted by what they bought. The humans call it an “adorable gerbil.” But it’s obviously a rodent, can’t you see? Rodents are our sworn enemy. What is this insanity? What have you humans done to me? Now those silly children who used to serve me Try playing Wordle with the stupid gerbil. Those children would be better off Playing Wordle with a silly turtle Not a stupid...

The Frog with the Umbrella


On a rainy, foggy day, I saw a frog

With a raincoat and umbrella.

She was at the bus stop,

Claiming she was visiting Cinderella.


“She’s getting married this week,

To a very handsome prince.

I hear he’s a nice fellow.

His name is Quince.”


“That’s very nice,” I said,

Though I was a little confused.

“But how did you meet Cinderella?”

The frog looked a little amused.


“When her stepmother was very cruel,

Cinderella cried at the wishing well.

I comforted her when I saw her,

For by the well is where I dwell.


“And right when I was comforting her

The fairy godmother came.

And as many people already know

Cinderella’s life was never the same.”


“Then what brought you here to Tennessee?”

I asked, even more perplexed than ever.

“I came to visit some other friends,” she said,

“Look, see, we took a picture together.”


In the photo she was smiling

Alongside frogs and mice,

All wearing dresses and bonnets.

They all looked quite nice.


“That’s lovely,” I said.

But one thing I found upsetting

Was that I had no idea how the frog

Would get to Cinderella’s wedding .


However, I quickly got an answer

For here came a pumpkin carriage!

The frog leapt inside with glee. 

“Farewell! I’m off to witness the marriage!”


I waved farewell to the frog

And the carriage vanished into the fog.

“Did I hallucinate the whole talk

With the strange talking frog?”


I looked down at the ground

And behold, a tiny umbrella!

I picked it up and smiled.

Perhaps she’ll get a new one from Cinderella.

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