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Stupid Stinky Gerbil

I am a beautiful and wonderful cat, No other animal compares to me. Everyone in my house knows that. It’s so clear to see. Other animals wish they were me. I am the queen of this kingdom And I vanquish all my foes, The rodents that used to trespass my domain Are all dead and gone, as everyone knows. And now what I say goes. I get all the attention I get all the catnip and treats I get all the pets and scratches I get all the best spots on cozy seats. I get everything, my life’s complete. But one day, while I dream away Laying in a warm sun spot An enemy invades my kingdom. I wake up and see what the humans brought. I am disgusted by what they bought. The humans call it an “adorable gerbil.” But it’s obviously a rodent, can’t you see? Rodents are our sworn enemy. What is this insanity? What have you humans done to me? Now those silly children who used to serve me Try playing Wordle with the stupid gerbil. Those children would be better off Playing Wordle with a silly turtle Not a stupid...

Nothing Fits

I looked at all the fancy dresses and sighed. My friend told me that Vivian’s had the best designer clothes, but everything was too big for me. The emerald dress with daisies on the hem, the velvet cloak that would make Little Red Riding Hood jealous, the leather gloves–they wouldn’t fit me!

Even the extra-extra small clothes weren’t small enough. Why didn’t people ever make clothes for people like me? It wasn’t fair! I’ll have to learn to sew my own dresses. 

I fluttered out of the store. Sometimes I wished I wasn’t a pixie who’s as small as Thumbelina.

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