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I Have a Bad Sneeze

I have a bad sneeze It won’t go away. I have it every hour, I have it every day. I sneeze so loud The ground trembles and shakes. I sneeze so loud People think there are earthquakes. I sneeze so loud, People think I’m ill. They say “Take more vitamins Either gummies or pills.” Though I sneeze so loud The doctors would always say “You are perfectly healthy. Over time it will go away.” But that was a two years ago And my sneeze is still here I wait for the day it stops But it might not, I fear. I told one of my close friends About my horrible plight. He said, “I have an idea; Go see the woodland sprite.” “She might be able to help you, Get rid of that silly sneeze. Just go to the Frolicking Forest, From there, the cure will be a breeze.” I thought the whole thing silly. Surely he wasn’t serious. A woodland sprite in the forest? Surely, my friend was delirious! But my friend wasn’t joking, And said it was what I had to do. So I went to the Frolicking Forest To see if his advice was true. ...
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I Hate Strawberries



I hate strawberries.

They’re too sweet. Also, upside-down strawberries look like tear drops, which is depressing! I could be having a perfectly wonderful day, but as soon as I see a single strawberry, I remember I was crying days before.

As if that weren’t bad enough, they have seeds on the outside. No respectable fruit has seeds on the outside that get stuck in your teeth!

Furthermore, strawberries are as red as a stop sign, which obviously means they’re not meant for consumption. Snowberries, on the other hand, are perfect for a sophisticated Woodland Sprite like me. Want some, mortal?

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