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Why Did You Eat the Chocolate?
Why did you eat the chocolate
That had a label saying “Do Not Eat?!”
It wasn’t filled with jam or caramel
But magic mongoose meat!
I know the chocolate’s sweet taste
Sent you over the moon,
But that chocolate is only safe
For fairies and gnomes to consume.
Do you have any idea
What magic mongoose meat can do?
Of course you don’t, silly head
So I’ll go ahead and tell you.
Within the next few minutes
You’ll be feeling pretty happy
But then you’ll be angry
And suddenly you’ll feel sappy.
Once the mood swings are over
Your skin will turn blue
Like that girl in Willy Wonka
Only yours will be a darker hue!
Then you’ll sprout wings
And you’ll be able to fly
But if you fly for over a minute
You’ll fall from the air and die!
If you live, you’ll start to smell
Like the sweetest vanilla perfume
Only to later smell like hot garbage
Which will attract loads of raccoons!
Once the stench dissipates
You’ll sing so well, many will swoon
But soon you’ll get a sore throat
That makes you sound like a baboon.
Then you’ll go on all fours
And bark like a dog
Then hop around really high
And ribbit like a frog.
When you come to your senses
You will lose them again.
Sight, hearing, smell, taste touch,
Gone for at least an hour, at most ten.
Finally, you will be back to normal
Besides the mongoose tail you’ll grow.
You might crave snake meat too,
But I really don’t know.
I can’t wrap my head around
How you keep making such mistakes.
But I hope you learn your lesson
Not just for you, but for all of our sakes.
You should never eat chocolate
Filled with magic mongoose meat,
Or eat someone else’s chocolate
That has a label saying “Do Not Eat.”
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