Why Did You Eat the Chocolate?

Why did you eat the chocolate

That had a label saying “Do Not Eat?!”

It wasn’t filled with jam or caramel

But magic mongoose meat!

I know the chocolate’s sweet taste

Sent you over the moon,

But that chocolate is only safe

For fairies and gnomes to consume.

Do you have any idea

What magic mongoose meat can do?

Of course you don’t, silly head

So I’ll go ahead and tell you.

Within the next few minutes

You’ll be feeling pretty happy

But then you’ll be angry

And suddenly you’ll feel sappy.

Once the mood swings are over

Your skin will turn blue

Like that girl in Willy Wonka

Only yours will be a darker hue!

Then you’ll sprout wings

And you’ll be able to fly

But if you fly for over a minute

You’ll fall from the air and die!

If you live, you’ll start to smell

Like the sweetest vanilla perfume

Only to later smell like hot garbage

Which will attract loads of raccoons!

Once the stench dissipates

You’ll sing so well, many will swoon

But soon you’ll get a sore throat

That makes you sound like a baboon.

Then you’ll go on all fours

And bark like a dog

Then hop around really high

And ribbit like a frog.

When you come to your senses

You will lose them again.

Sight, hearing, smell, taste touch,

Gone for at least an hour, at most ten.

Finally, you will be back to normal

Besides the mongoose tail you’ll grow.

You might crave snake meat too,

But I really don’t know.

I can’t wrap my head around

How you keep making such mistakes.

But I hope you learn your lesson

Not just for you, but for all of our sakes.

You should never eat chocolate

Filled with magic mongoose meat,

Or eat someone else’s chocolate

That has a label saying “Do Not Eat.”