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The Fisherman's Lament

Sailing across the ocean blue  Singing shanties with my merry crew We cast our nets into the briny waters To provide for our wives, sons, and daughters. But when are nets grew heavy and taut We heaved them up to see what we caught. And what did our accursed eyes behold? Fish with scales that glistened like gold. We cheered as our nets burst at the seams. We were rich beyond our wildest dreams! But my heart quickly sank to the sea floor As I recalled the warning we got days before. “Should you ever catch fishes of gold Remember the ancient warnings of old: Release them and don’t be slaves to greed Lest you anger the Merfolk with a selfish deed.” With heavy heart, I reminded my crew Of the solemn warning from Old Ms. Rue. They laughed and said, “It’s just an old wives tale!” And our captain said, “Homeward we sail!” I warned them that this was a foolish deed But my voice was one they chose not to heed. As they started to sail home with childish glee A great shadow loomed below the su...

Christmas Trees Hate Christmas

Christmas trees hate Christmas

It may be obvious why.

Christmas is the day 

That all the Christmas trees die.


As the days till Christmas 

Start counting down

The trees all tremble

And if they could, they’d frown.


As parents walk around the tree lot 

With joyful children in tow,

The trees watch in horror wondering 

“Who is next to go?”


The children point to different trees, 

Each shouting “Let’s get this one!”

The trees pointed out desperately wish 

That the ground would open up and swallow them.


Then there is the ax. 

Oh, the horrid tree’s bane!

The metal edge glints evilly in winter sunlight,

It’s cold metal hacks at every tree vein!


Oh, how the Christmas trees hate Christmas day! 

Blasted be the human tradition

Of chopping down innocent trees

For one single day in a season.


Each tree hopes every year 

That they are not chosen 

But the trees need not fear

Perhaps they will all go to heaven.


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