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[WIP Writing Sample] The King and the Wicked Mermaid

I’ve been working on a fantasy children’s story currently called Shupikayi and the Coral Kingdom. I’m still trying to decide what I want to happen next, and I am considering making a few changes. This first chapter is one of the changes I made. I’m writing by the seat of my pants so I’m going to see if this sticks. Anyway, this is the prologue to the fantasy story about a young girl named Shupikayi who ends up running away from home and finds herself in a completely new and amazing, and a little scary place under the sea. Hope you enjoy this! *** Once upon a time, there was a noble king named King Vusumuzi. He ruled his kingdom with kindness and wisdom, and his wisdom brought great prosperity to his people. Gold, silver, precious stones, and other exotic goods were plentiful in the land, for he built great ships that sailed the seas to many islands to trade with many people. All of the king’s people were happy and all of them loved him. But none loved him as much as a young fair maiden...

The Valley of Fear: A Christian Perspective


The Valley of Fear is a Sherlock Holmes mystery by Arthur Conan Doyle. A man named Mr. Douglass has been murdered, and detective MacDonald and White Mason need Sherlock’s assistance. The clues left behind do not seem to make any sense, and the circumstances surrounding the murder of Mr. Douglass are questionable. The murder seems to point to two suspects, but are they really the murderers? Who committed the murder and why?

I really enjoyed this story. Sherlock is, as usual, two steps ahead of the game. The mystery left me wondering who committed the crime and why? I had thought that two characters were responsible for the murder. However, I also thought that that was too obvious, but other than that, I wasn’t quite sure what other theory made sense. I was just as stooped as Watson and the two other detectives, but as always, Sherlock got the right answers.

The story had many twists that made my mouth drop, but it also had moments that made me laugh. The Valley of Fear has two parts, both of which have their own special twists which left me awestruck. The author provided enough red herrings to confuse readers but also a few clues for one to look back on and realize how it all made sense. As with most Sherlock Holmes stories, I found myself suspecting the seemingly insignificant details, but I didn’t suspect them enough to realize just how important they were.

One message in the story may be that not everything is as it seems. With the information I was given, I had made a lot of assumptions about certain characters. But my assumptions were proved wrong when I realized the red herrings.

Another message may be that evil will never go unpunished and evil people will cause their own downfall. The Scowrers, an evil organization of men who murder and steal, are so confident in their abilities to escape justice that they get cocky and become comfortable. They do not care about anyone except themselves and have no remorse for their evil deeds. However, in the end, they do face justice and are outwitted, proving their pride to be senseless.

A Christian perspective on this is that evil people like to think their deeds will go unpunished. They like to think that no one can stop them, that they are their own gods and can do as they please. However, that is not true. God sees what they’re doing, and He will and does avenge the innocent and punish the wicked. If they do not repent, the wicked will cause their own downfall. Even if they do not face justice in the courtroom, they will face justice from God Himself and will face eternity in hell. Even before death, wicked men may face the consequences of their actions in some other way.  At the end of The Valley of Fear, it seems like one villain has gotten away with his crimes, but even he doesn’t escape justice in the end. It’s only a matter of time.

I enjoyed this story, and I recommend it. The book mentions violence and also has some swearing, so I would recommend it to teenagers and adults.

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