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Stupid Stinky Gerbil

I am a beautiful and wonderful cat, No other animal compares to me. Everyone in my house knows that. It’s so clear to see. Other animals wish they were me. I am the queen of this kingdom And I vanquish all my foes, The rodents that used to trespass my domain Are all dead and gone, as everyone knows. And now what I say goes. I get all the attention I get all the catnip and treats I get all the pets and scratches I get all the best spots on cozy seats. I get everything, my life’s complete. But one day, while I dream away Laying in a warm sun spot An enemy invades my kingdom. I wake up and see what the humans brought. I am disgusted by what they bought. The humans call it an “adorable gerbil.” But it’s obviously a rodent, can’t you see? Rodents are our sworn enemy. What is this insanity? What have you humans done to me? Now those silly children who used to serve me Try playing Wordle with the stupid gerbil. Those children would be better off Playing Wordle with a silly turtle Not a stupid...

When Life Gets Boring

When life gets boring

Do something different

Like going to a zoo

And freeing an elephant.


If you’re still bored,

Do something extra

Like taking the freed elephant

To your local cinema.


If you’re still bored

Do something you love

Like writing wacky poems

About a fairy or a dove.


If you’re still bored

Get someone to do it with you

Like the elephant you freed

From your local zoo.


If all else fails,

Then face your greatest fear.

Get out of your comfort zone

And sing for the whole world to hear.


If you’re scared to do it alone

Then form a quartet.

The elephant can be one of them,

He’d do well with a trumpet.


If you’re still bored, sorry,

Other suggestions are irrelevant.

By now, you’ll be taken to jail

For stealing the zoo’s elephant.


***

This poem was created out of boredom and a need to write something different. Stealing elephants from zoos is not advised. However, doing something different and fun (and legal) now and then is. 😊

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