I have my reasons

I have my reasons

For not doing things I have to do.

They are all extremely good reasons.

I promise that this is true!

I will present you with a few examples

Just so you don’t scoff at me.

When I explain, everything will become clear.

Just wait and see!

The reason I have yet to reschedule

My next dentist appointment

Is that I had to run to the potion shop

And buy some dragon-burn ointment.

The reason I have yet to read

All the books that I bought last week

Is that I had to go to the Mystic Mountain

And climb up to its very peak.

The reason I have yet to write

That book I’ve been meaning to publish

Is that I had to help negotiate peace

Between the Unicorn Sharks and the Blubfish.

The reason I have yet to study

For my Historical History exam

Is that I was ordered by the Fairy Queen

To make tons of Magic Mooseberry Jam.

The reason I have yet to report

My findings on the Great Ruins of Pizzazz

Is that I had to confront these bumbling bumblebees

And teach them the proper way to play jazz.

The reason I have yet to organize

My sock drawer, so that all the socks have pairs,

Is that I had to fight off evil wizards

Who tried to catch me unawares.

The reason I have yet to work out

With my personal trainer at my local gym

Is that I had to go visit the Lullaby Lagoon

And teach the Sleeping Swallows how to swim.

The reason I have yet to practice

Making my mother’s famous blueberry pie

Is that I had to collect the tiny diamonds

That the Mourning Doves drop when they cry.

The reason I have yet to wash

All the dishes in my kitchen sink

Is that I had to recapture the baby griffins,

Who were chasing a Winged Mink.

The reason I have yet to buy

The fabrics needed to mend my quilt

Is that I had to ask the Flora Fairy

To help assuage my Weeping Willow’s guilt.

The reason I have yet to go shopping

For some eggs, cheese, and goats milk,

Is that I had to help my spider friends

Weave magical fabrics made of spider silk.

The reason I have yet to fix

The squeaky hinges on my closet doors

Is that I had to explain to my goldfish

That not all mermaids are herbivores.

These are all very good reasons

As you should very well see.

So don’t shake your head like that.

Stop rolling your eyes at me!

I have my reasons

For not doing things I have to do!

These are all very valid reasons,

Let me assure you!