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Why Did You Eat the Chocolate?

Why did you eat the chocolate That had a label saying “Do Not Eat?!” It wasn’t filled with jam or caramel But magic mongoose meat! I know the chocolate’s sweet taste Sent you over the moon, But that chocolate is only safe For fairies and gnomes to consume. Do you have any idea What magic mongoose meat can do? Of course you don’t, silly head So I’ll go ahead and tell you. Within the next few minutes You’ll be feeling pretty happy But then you’ll be angry And suddenly you’ll feel sappy. Once the mood swings are over Your skin will turn blue Like that girl in Willy Wonka Only yours will be a darker hue! Then you’ll sprout wings And you’ll be able to fly But if you fly for over a minute You’ll fall from the air and die! If you live, you’ll start to smell Like the sweetest vanilla perfume Only to later smell like hot garbage Which will attract loads of raccoons! Once the stench dissipates You’ll sing so well, many will swoon But soon you’ll get a sore throat That makes you sound like a babo...

Samantha's Gift

Some hear trees rustling, rivers gurgling, or the dry earth crunching.

Others don’t hear at all. 

I wish I could be like either of them and hear normal things 

Or absolutely nothing at all. 


But…I hear different things.

Things that shouldn’t talk but do. 

Like the earth, the trees, and the river.

It sounds crazy, I know, but it’s true.


I hear the trees whisper of ages long gone,

I hear the stream giggling about merry children,

I hear the earth groaning about the state of the world

And how it wished things were like Eden.


But I also hear another thing speak

Its voice shakes me to my core,

The blood of innocents crying 

To the Maker to exact justice on the evildoers it abhors.


Such is the nature of this gift

Which I bear with gladness and sorrow.

How the gift will serve me or others

I can only hope to know on the morrow.

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