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Stupid Stinky Gerbil

I am a beautiful and wonderful cat, No other animal compares to me. Everyone in my house knows that. It’s so clear to see. Other animals wish they were me. I am the queen of this kingdom And I vanquish all my foes, The rodents that used to trespass my domain Are all dead and gone, as everyone knows. And now what I say goes. I get all the attention I get all the catnip and treats I get all the pets and scratches I get all the best spots on cozy seats. I get everything, my life’s complete. But one day, while I dream away Laying in a warm sun spot An enemy invades my kingdom. I wake up and see what the humans brought. I am disgusted by what they bought. The humans call it an “adorable gerbil.” But it’s obviously a rodent, can’t you see? Rodents are our sworn enemy. What is this insanity? What have you humans done to me? Now those silly children who used to serve me Try playing Wordle with the stupid gerbil. Those children would be better off Playing Wordle with a silly turtle Not a stupid...

Micro Story: The Onion Pixie

The Onion Pixie

I came across a strange pixie who was selling blue onions by Caramel Street. She told me that the onions were 25 cents each and that they were magical onions. I asked her what the onions could do, and she said they could turn people into dogs. When I asked her why on earth pixies would grow onions that turned people into dogs, she looked at me like I was crazy and asked why I wouldn’t want to be a dog. I replied that I preferred to be human and she said “Fine. Would you like these magenta onions that can turn people into cats?”

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