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Stupid Stinky Gerbil

I am a beautiful and wonderful cat, No other animal compares to me. Everyone in my house knows that. It’s so clear to see. Other animals wish they were me. I am the queen of this kingdom And I vanquish all my foes, The rodents that used to trespass my domain Are all dead and gone, as everyone knows. And now what I say goes. I get all the attention I get all the catnip and treats I get all the pets and scratches I get all the best spots on cozy seats. I get everything, my life’s complete. But one day, while I dream away Laying in a warm sun spot An enemy invades my kingdom. I wake up and see what the humans brought. I am disgusted by what they bought. The humans call it an “adorable gerbil.” But it’s obviously a rodent, can’t you see? Rodents are our sworn enemy. What is this insanity? What have you humans done to me? Now those silly children who used to serve me Try playing Wordle with the stupid gerbil. Those children would be better off Playing Wordle with a silly turtle Not a stupid...

30 Fantasy Dialogue Prompts

 


Do you need some inspiration for your next fantasy story? Here are thirty fantasy dialogue prompts for you to use. If you like, feel free to post your story in the comments.

 

1. “Surprise! I heard you liked reptiles, so I got you a new pet!”

“What the–? Lizards! I like lizards, not dragons!”


2. “Um, guys, why is the Evil Overlord not in his cell?”

“Oh. That. Erm…it’s a funny story really.”


3. “The fae kidnapped my poor baby! I just know it!”

“No offense, but if I were fae, I’d rather be burned by iron than kidnap your kid.”


4. “Whoa, sick tattoo! Where’d you get it?”

“From a witch’s curse. But thanks.”


5. “Are–are we really the last dragons?”

“...I’m hungry. Let’s eat that shepherd’s flock for breakfast.”


6. “Our king has commanded us to increase his quota of treats.”

“Your king is a husky? Whose idea was this?”


7. “There are hundreds of people pretending to be the prince. What makes you so sure he’s telling the truth?”

“I just know, okay!”


8. “Aren’t you supposed to grant me three wishes or something?”

“I’m a fairy, silly. Not a genie.”


9. “Since when did pigs fly?”

“Since you let your son borrow your wizard hat! Honestly, what did you think would happen?!”


10. “I can’t fly.”

“You have wings, so you can fly. You just need to practice.”


11. “Oh wow! A unicorn!”

“Actually, I am an alicorn. A unicorn does not have gorgeous wings like me.”


12. “I don’t mean to be vain, but I am the most beautiful princess in the land.”

“You’re the only princess in this land.”


13. “In order to cross my bridge, you must solve my riddle.”

“Or I could just shoot you with my arrow. Or you could step aside. Whichever works for you.”


14. “Careful. I heard Centaurs kick when angry.”

“I am not angry!”


15. “It hasn’t rained in forever! The gods are mad at us!”

“Dude, it rained two days ago. What are you talking about?”


16. “Oh, cool, free apples!”

“Don’t eat that! It could be poisoned!”


17. “You killed a unicorn?!”

“We need the money, okay.”


18. “Has anyone seen my wand?! I have to find it before Winston does.”

“Too late. Your pet’s got a new chew toy now.”


19. “When I said you should roast him, I meant it figuratively, not literally!”

“I know, but I’m a dragon! What else am I supposed to do?”


20. “What happened to your friend’s other eye?”

“He’s a cyclops, idiot. He never had another eye.”


21. “If we don’t break the curse, all will be lost.”

“Technically, not everything will be lost, so that’s a bit of an exaggeration.”


22. “I can’t figure you out.”

“I thought you could read minds.”

“I can, but yours is a mess!”


23. “Do not eat the fae’s food! If you do, you’ll be stuck here forever.”

“What’s so bad about that?”


24. “I know I broke the rules, but it’s not that serious.”

“You call destroying our kingdom ‘not that serious?!’”


25. “Promise me you’ll help me kill this siren.”

“Promise me you’ll get earplugs, and you’ve got a deal.”


26. “You opened the book? What were you thinking?!”

“That the cover looked pretty?”


27. “Put on this invisibility cloak.”

“What cloak? I don’t see it.”


28. “If you wish to take my daughter’s hand, you must pass three tests.”

“Can’t I just pay the bride price like everyone else? I feel like you’re being petty.”


29. “Take this magic thimble. It will help you on your quest.”

“…How?”


30. “I can’t keep doing this.”

“Of course you can! You’re immortal!”

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