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Why Did You Eat the Chocolate?

Why did you eat the chocolate That had a label saying “Do Not Eat?!” It wasn’t filled with jam or caramel But magic mongoose meat! I know the chocolate’s sweet taste Sent you over the moon, But that chocolate is only safe For fairies and gnomes to consume. Do you have any idea What magic mongoose meat can do? Of course you don’t, silly head So I’ll go ahead and tell you. Within the next few minutes You’ll be feeling pretty happy But then you’ll be angry And suddenly you’ll feel sappy. Once the mood swings are over Your skin will turn blue Like that girl in Willy Wonka Only yours will be a darker hue! Then you’ll sprout wings And you’ll be able to fly But if you fly for over a minute You’ll fall from the air and die! If you live, you’ll start to smell Like the sweetest vanilla perfume Only to later smell like hot garbage Which will attract loads of raccoons! Once the stench dissipates You’ll sing so well, many will swoon But soon you’ll get a sore throat That makes you sound like a babo...

Song of the Fairy Warrior

Born in hate, 

Raised in love,

I became a warrior, 

Yearning to shed blood.


To fight with power, 

With spear in hand,

I knew my destiny 

Was to kill every man


Who dared to hurt me,

Or those who were helpless. 

That was my task

As a warrior, selfless. 


I was weak before,

Now I am not.

I know how to fight.

I will never be caught


Again by vile beings

Who wish me harm.

I will use my spear 

To kill and disarm.


I am small

But I am not weak.

I am tough

Though I am meek.


I am fast.

I am agile.

Enemies beware,

Fight me at your peril.

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