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The Fisherman's Lament

Sailing across the ocean blue  Singing shanties with my merry crew We cast our nets into the briny waters To provide for our wives, sons, and daughters. But when are nets grew heavy and taut We heaved them up to see what we caught. And what did our accursed eyes behold? Fish with scales that glistened like gold. We cheered as our nets burst at the seams. We were rich beyond our wildest dreams! But my heart quickly sank to the sea floor As I recalled the warning we got days before. “Should you ever catch fishes of gold Remember the ancient warnings of old: Release them and don’t be slaves to greed Lest you anger the Merfolk with a selfish deed.” With heavy heart, I reminded my crew Of the solemn warning from Old Ms. Rue. They laughed and said, “It’s just an old wives tale!” And our captain said, “Homeward we sail!” I warned them that this was a foolish deed But my voice was one they chose not to heed. As they started to sail home with childish glee A great shadow loomed below the su...

Many Ways to Kill Gnats

There are many ways to kill gnats

It is not very hard to do

Just set out a nice, sinister trap

And they’ll stop pestering you.


You can put a banana in the oven,

Open the oven a smidgen,

Close it and turn up the heat

After letting the gnats fly in.


As they shrivel up and die

Of heat stroke and dehydration,

Watch as they give their inaudible cries

Of pain in their desecration.


Or put a pot on your stove, 

And put in pasta or peas,

Then when many gnats land on it to feast

Slam the lid on and be at ease.


Turn on the eye,

Watch those pesky gnats strain

To desperately escape,

Their agony and pain.


You can set out a small cup of vinegar 

And put a sticky fly trap above it,

Let the gnats gather round the vinegar

They do really love it.


Some will land on the sticky fly trap, 

And find themselves in a pickle,

They will try to get free to no avail

No matter how much they wiggle.



The others will be intoxicated

By the tangy vinegar they smelled

And one by one fall in and drown

Their thirst now eternally quelled.


There are many ways to kill gnats

All it takes is some imagination

And a strong will to end the gnats

Who cause feelings of consternation.

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