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Stupid Stinky Gerbil

I am a beautiful and wonderful cat, No other animal compares to me. Everyone in my house knows that. It’s so clear to see. Other animals wish they were me. I am the queen of this kingdom And I vanquish all my foes, The rodents that used to trespass my domain Are all dead and gone, as everyone knows. And now what I say goes. I get all the attention I get all the catnip and treats I get all the pets and scratches I get all the best spots on cozy seats. I get everything, my life’s complete. But one day, while I dream away Laying in a warm sun spot An enemy invades my kingdom. I wake up and see what the humans brought. I am disgusted by what they bought. The humans call it an “adorable gerbil.” But it’s obviously a rodent, can’t you see? Rodents are our sworn enemy. What is this insanity? What have you humans done to me? Now those silly children who used to serve me Try playing Wordle with the stupid gerbil. Those children would be better off Playing Wordle with a silly turtle Not a stupid...

Many Ways to Kill Gnats

There are many ways to kill gnats

It is not very hard to do

Just set out a nice, sinister trap

And they’ll stop pestering you.


You can put a banana in the oven,

Open the oven a smidgen,

Close it and turn up the heat

After letting the gnats fly in.


As they shrivel up and die

Of heat stroke and dehydration,

Watch as they give their inaudible cries

Of pain in their desecration.


Or put a pot on your stove, 

And put in pasta or peas,

Then when many gnats land on it to feast

Slam the lid on and be at ease.


Turn on the eye,

Watch those pesky gnats strain

To desperately escape,

Their agony and pain.


You can set out a small cup of vinegar 

And put a sticky fly trap above it,

Let the gnats gather round the vinegar

They do really love it.


Some will land on the sticky fly trap, 

And find themselves in a pickle,

They will try to get free to no avail

No matter how much they wiggle.



The others will be intoxicated

By the tangy vinegar they smelled

And one by one fall in and drown

Their thirst now eternally quelled.


There are many ways to kill gnats

All it takes is some imagination

And a strong will to end the gnats

Who cause feelings of consternation.

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