My cat robbed a bank last night,
and it was all over the news.
I was sitting on
my couch watching The Lord of the Rings when, at the corner of my eye, I saw my
black feline, with a devious sparkle in his green eyes, go through the doggy door.
I didn’t think anything of it. Although looking back, this sparkle was more
devious than usual. Then I heard a loud screech of a car speeding past my
house. I had assumed it was just a stupid person at the wheel.
When I awoke the
next morning and flipped the TV to the local news, I saw a video of cats
storming a bank and then throwing what the reporter said were catnip smoke
bombs. The catnip smoke bombs clouded everyone’s vision, while the cats somehow
opened the vault and stole the cash. The news also showed footage of the cats
in my neighbor’s silver van driving crazily out of the bank’s parking lot and
speeding through the streets, screeching as they made crazy turns. That must
have been the screeching I heard last night. My black cat had his paws on the
wheel! He was the getaway driver! He swerved past cars and ran through stop
lights as police cars were in hot pursuit!
I guess that’s
what I get for adopting a cat named Bandit.
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