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The Fisherman's Lament

Sailing across the ocean blue  Singing shanties with my merry crew We cast our nets into the briny waters To provide for our wives, sons, and daughters. But when are nets grew heavy and taut We heaved them up to see what we caught. And what did our accursed eyes behold? Fish with scales that glistened like gold. We cheered as our nets burst at the seams. We were rich beyond our wildest dreams! But my heart quickly sank to the sea floor As I recalled the warning we got days before. “Should you ever catch fishes of gold Remember the ancient warnings of old: Release them and don’t be slaves to greed Lest you anger the Merfolk with a selfish deed.” With heavy heart, I reminded my crew Of the solemn warning from Old Ms. Rue. They laughed and said, “It’s just an old wives tale!” And our captain said, “Homeward we sail!” I warned them that this was a foolish deed But my voice was one they chose not to heed. As they started to sail home with childish glee A great shadow loomed below the su...

Rick the Balloon Man

 “Would you like a balloon?” Rick the balloon man asked. “It’s only 25 cents.”

“Yes, please,” Vanessa said.

Rick took out a balloon from his pocket and gave it to her.

Vanessa looked at it in confusion. “Uh, it’s not inflated.”

“Oh, you wanted an inflated balloon?”

“Well, yeah.”

“That’ll be 20 bucks.”

“Wait, what?! 20 bucks!?”

“Yes. And it’ll be an extra 5 bucks for the string.”

“What on earth makes you think people are going to pay 25 bucks for one balloon?”

“I mean, it has worked before. I had lots and lots of customers eager to buy my balloons.” He rubbed his chin. “Then again, I did hold them at gunpoint.”

“You did what!?”

“That was the perfect marketing strategy. Too bad I had my gun license taken away. Oh well, I’ll lower the price. You can have an inflated balloon with the string for 2 dollars. How ‘bout it?”

“On second thought, I change my mind. Have a nice day.”


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