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Stupid Stinky Gerbil

I am a beautiful and wonderful cat, No other animal compares to me. Everyone in my house knows that. It’s so clear to see. Other animals wish they were me. I am the queen of this kingdom And I vanquish all my foes, The rodents that used to trespass my domain Are all dead and gone, as everyone knows. And now what I say goes. I get all the attention I get all the catnip and treats I get all the pets and scratches I get all the best spots on cozy seats. I get everything, my life’s complete. But one day, while I dream away Laying in a warm sun spot An enemy invades my kingdom. I wake up and see what the humans brought. I am disgusted by what they bought. The humans call it an “adorable gerbil.” But it’s obviously a rodent, can’t you see? Rodents are our sworn enemy. What is this insanity? What have you humans done to me? Now those silly children who used to serve me Try playing Wordle with the stupid gerbil. Those children would be better off Playing Wordle with a silly turtle Not a stupid...

Change of Plans


I would have liked to be here at night rather than at five in the morning, but plans get sidetracked by life and must be dealt with accordingly. Just like when Mr. Mitchel “accidentally” shot all of my egg-laying hens in my property because he mistook them for quails and didn’t realize he had trespassed. To deal with it, I had to get money by working for another farmer. I kneel in the tall grass, taking inventory of Mr. Mitchel’s cows in his backyard. He had three calves, seven cows, and one bull. Now, which ones should I shoot?


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